My Spiritual Awakening

2007-01-03T21:35:00.000-08:00

Hi, I'm Derek

About four years ago my life began to change in ways that I couldn’t have ever predicted. I never considered myself a spiritual person, nor did I believe in God like most do. I neither hated life, nor loved it to its fullest, but seemed to possess wondrous knowledge of what life should be. This knowledge was a result of digging myself out of the post traumatic stress due to an abusive childhood. I had aspirations to be a screenwriter and filmmaker, but they were constantly extinguished by the negativity of my parents and the self-esteem they past on to me. This came to bother me so much that I began to search inside for the roots of my deepest emotions.

I dug through my memories searching for answers, which caused me to be angry and resentful, as I went through each meaningful memory a puzzle formed. Each memory that was associated with anger or any other emotion for that matter, held the secret of why I am the way I am. Each year of my life held major experiences that dictated who I was in the present, which caused some qualities I was and I wasn’t proud of; a temper, stress, anxiety, hatred, indifference, poor self-esteem and a huge heart, empathy, sense of humor, generosity, humbleness, politeness, a type of spiritual psychology; good thing the positive outweighed the negative. As you can see I was confused, but as this puzzle was pieced together I gained a broad perspective of both good and bad.

Question after question, I prodded my mind on how I was oblivious that these things were still affecting me from my childhood, even though I was relatively happy. It seemed that the same problems I was facing as a child, where being mirrored into my current reality; something I came to know as a curse. I didn’t want to be that person, nor did I want to relive the same story over and over; bad relationships, money troubles, depression, isolation, self-esteem issues, the works.

Poof! My life soon mirrored my need to escape, as I made major decisions to move across the country to Vancouver, BC. I was determined to follow my heart, my passion for writing and my new perspective on how/why this psychosis is affecting us all, from the depths of depression to tip of bliss. (For anyone that thinks moving away is a the answer to get away from their problems… Wrong Answer!) I felt free and was on my way to prosperity, but things that surrounded me quickly followed the traditions of home. I wanted the answers, I needed the answers.

After struggling to find a job, I removed myself from society as much as possible without going poor. My screenplays were put on the backburner and my free time focused on knowledge and inner refection. I taught myself meditation and looked deeper for truths, when traditional knowledge shed little light. The answers began to barrel into my mind as insights and epiphanies.

Previous inklings about everything being energy became truths and my outer reality started to shine with a new perception. Huge realizations took place and I found myself knowing exactly how I got where I stood. I understood how my thoughts and emotions had created everything in my life based on my past. I now knew how I could create my future from that moment forward, without influence of the past. Energy was everything!

I opened my heart beyond myself to others around me and energy took a whole new meaning. I could see this working through everyone all the time. It was in everything and anything. Enormous insights into humanity unfolded in front of me as my awareness grew heights. I can now see the dynamics of how this energy flows and how we interact with it. My mind took new order and new perception mirrored around me, soon I understood the minds of some of our most influential philosophers and leaders in history.

Today I sit here writing my first blog, understanding meanings that people have searched lifetimes for. Now I see with different eyes and feel with different senses. I have great control of my mind, except for the odd unavoidable confrontation. I created my day and request my lessons, which I have come to experience answers in three different forms. My curse has spun one hundred and eighty degrees, becoming my passion and purpose. Not only do I believe in God, but I interact and learn from God regularly. Screech! I imagine that’s where your mind just slammed on the breaks “Did he just say he can talk to God?”

Yep that’s right, I said it – well in a way… Also with these lessons I learn, I gain or experience metaphysical abilities. I now live in a world where I understand more and more as transition into higher realms of consciousness. Society has taken on a whole new meaning, which sometimes scares me, but for once I understand it and what is happening to our world; from the atomically small to the universally large. What is above is below.

Is Spiritual Awakening an understatement or have others had this happen to them? To look and talk to me I would appear friendly, fun, adventurous and kind… I would actually be considered to be a well rounded person and far from crazy, so I’ve ruled that out. I am looking for feedback, even if you feel the need to outline how ridiculous it sounds as people tend to do when it conflicts with their understanding or beliefs. I am hoping for some interesting comments and posts to my entries about my awakening insights.

D